Anyone seen the Bud Light ad in which a group of men, with letters painted on their bare chests, mistakenly spells the word “Girlies,” rather than their actual team’s name, “Grizzlies”?
If not, here is one version of it:
Funny, right? It’s humorous that the men, initially self-satisfied with their display of masculine bravado, are deflated when they realize that they have spelled something antithetical to the intended word, something silly, and, well, girlish. Because what’s funnier than a grown man being portrayed as a little girl? Not much.
Given its emphasis on traditional masculinity, it’s clear the commercial is aimed at straight men. Apparently women and gay men don’t comprise much of the audience during football games. (Or they’ve given up on us because we drink better beer than Bud Light. One would hope.)
In order to sell something considered feminine, something low in calories like light beer, advertisers have to make the potential buyer (the viewer) feel masculine. They do this by deriding other men for being wimps, which leaves the viewer’s masculinity intact (he is not like them after all) and unassailable by something as tangential as light beer. The viewer is different from these men, who are so dumb and clueless and illiterate that they might as well be little girls, just like the word they’ve spelled.
Though the misogynistic message is obvious (that men should not be feminine or girlish, since femininity is inferior to masculinity), we might overlook the connection to homophobia. In essence, it’s not just that being feminine is bad, it’s that if you’re feminine, you might as well be gay. In fact, the assumption is that being feminine makes you gay.
It’s not news that men—gay and straight—are mocked and derided for being feminine, and that’s what happens in this ad, as well. So it’s not a stretch to say that, when we laugh at them for being sissies, the underlying message is homophobic: they are so pathetic and feminine that they might as well be gay; whether they actually are is irrelevant.
These two—homophobia and sexism—are kissing cousins, cozy and mutually-reinforcing in nature.
It’s worth noting that gay men are not necessarily more feminine than straight men, just as lesbians are not necessarily more masculine than their heterosexual sisters. But such hegemonic stereotypes endure because people don’t know what to do with masculine gay men and feminine lesbians. (Are they hot or gross? And if we can’t pick them out of a crowd, then how will we stay safe and uncorrupted and moral???)
I know a lot of people (particularly men) who would denounce sexism, but tell a few gay jokes on the side. Or use the word “gay” to mean lame. Because there’s no one in the room who’s gay, so what does it matter?
In an ideal world, each of us would chose to denounce homophobia for the most obvious of reasons—it is oppressive and potentially deadly to those in the GLBTQ community. But for some people, this is not motivation enough, because they are disconnected from this community, and think they don’t know anyone who is anything but straight up straight. They don’t see the relevance to their lives.
This is a myopic and inaccurate assessment.
Here is my request to the straight world, particularly to straight men: Next time you think of razzing your buddy by insulting his masculinity and making a gay joke, consider that you are perpetuating traditional and sexist gender roles when you do so. You might as well come right out and tell your daughters that they are less capable and serious and smart than your sons, because you are saying that being a woman (or a girl) is a sad, laughable thing. And you are perpetuating the idea that your son must conform to the rigid expectations of masculinity or be teased and humiliated, even if he is straight as an arrow.
You are setting your kids up to fail, because such rigid categories cannot contain all that they are, all that they can become.
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You point out the connection between homophobia and sexism, something those of us who think of ourselves as “enlightened” might not have considered–at least I hadn’t. Thanks.
Bravo, Dana. Especially given the rash of teen suicides motivated by anti-gay bullying, I think it is a critical time for us to re-examine our attitudes toward the kind of “soft” homophobia implied by commercials like this one.
I’m trying to think about the last time I heard a gay joke or a gay slur and I’m glad that I’m really having to work my memory. But as the mother of sons, I take your words very seriously today. There are ways in which my kids are “all boy” and ways in which they demonstrate more stereotypically “feminine” qualities. I want to make sure that they know that I will love them no matter who they are or what characteristics they display.
Thanks, Kristen. It seems that the “soft” homophobia, which is a good way to put it, is much harder to tackle than the overt or violent bullying, because people have a hard time recognizing the harm. It’s so great that you can’t remember the last time you heard a gay joke! I’m curious when boys start to tease each other for being girly or feminine–I don’t have a sense of when that (unfortunately) begins. It largely depends on if they hear other people doing it, but I feel like that stuff happens on the playground from quite an early age. I imagine I’ll hear less of it because I have two girls.
Yes, BRAVO. It drives me up the wall when womanhood is equated with weak, lame, laughable, sub-par, negligible, or any other myriad of negative terms which, somehow, seems to be completely acceptable. I like your connection between misogyny and homophobia and I agree that it’s all part of the same ball of wax.
Also, have you noticed the increase of commercials lately where men are shown as loveable, incompetent doofuses? What is that all about?
Thanks, Christina! It drives me nuts, too, and there are so many ads (largely for beer) aired during sporting events that do portray womanhood in this way. Or that show the woman trying to nag and control the man.
Interesting observation about men being portrayed as doofuses. Not sure what to make of it, but sometimes I think this tactic is chosen for two reasons: to sell to women (because the guys are so sweet underneath the dorkiness) and to sell to men (because the guys in the ad aren’t threatening, and the viewer gets to feel superior–smarter, more masculine, you name it). Maybe the same thing that happens in the Bud Light ad, but not sure. If you have any particular ads in mind, let me know!
You are spot on. The sexist and homophobic jokes are not funny and are hurtful.
You *are* spot on. The link between homophobia and sexism is ugly and strong, and I appreciate your turning our attention to both. The idea of “soft” homophobia is an interesting one. Interesting and scary – is it more insidious in our media because it’s not as overtly offensive as what could be called “hard” homophobia? I tend to think so. When did it become ok to be a little homophobic? In any case, it’s there and it’s hurtful. In the end, whether it’s “hard” or “soft,” and whether it’s homophobia or sexism we’re referring to, it’s still serving the same, nasty, hurtful, derisive purpose.
I think you’re right that it’s more insidious because it’s less obvious. Harder to stem and possibly more damaging. And it does all serve the same purpose, as well, which is upholding a structure of power that benefits a select few. Thanks for your comment, Megan!
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I hadn’t realized this until I heard that Madonna song a few months ago. The one called “What it feels like to be a girl” It starts out with her just speaking, saying that its ok for a girl to dress like a boy. But for a boy to dress like a girl is degrading, because being a girl is degrading.
Yes, I know this song and think it’s so true–it is a much bigger deal for a man to cross gender lines than for a woman to do so. And I agree that it’s sexism that makes this so. Thanks for pointing it out, Ronda!